My Requirements for my Next Personal Assistant

I’m thinking about hiring a personal assistant. Here are the best requirements curated from Twitter:

  • Has an Olympic gold or silver medal in the breaststroke (preferred).
  • Proficient in deep tissue massage and shiatsu.
  • Is capable of presenting conflict resolution in the form of Haiku.
  • Able to achieve perfect outcome from Pinterest craft projects.
  • Prefers being big spoon.
  • Proficient in Origami (not just cranes)
  • Meditation…