Meet the Newest Russian PMC in Ukraine

Ukraine is a breeding ground for Russian private military companies.

By the way, this is the cheesiest Russian mercenary image I could find on the stock photo site I subscribe to called Envato Elements. Yes, I paid real money for this image and no, that’s not an accurate Russian uniform — even for a mercenary. The actual description is “Russian soldier man dressed military [sic] camouflage uniform with weapon and cigarette.” Perfect. No notes. Given my distaste for PMCs, my goal is to portray them is comically as possible.

The Ukraine War is redefining how wars will be fought for decades to come. But the most visible development, at least on the Russian side, has been Putin’s cavalier use of private military companies, or PMCs.

In 2023, the Wagner Group was the most prominent PMC, particularly around Bakhmut, and their subsequent short-lived attempted coup.

But now it seems that United Russia, a party linked to the world’s least favorite asshat Vladimir Putin, has thrown a new piece onto the chessboard: a PMC named Hispaniola.

By the way, United Russia is formally chaired by the world’s second-least-favorite asshat, ex-President Dmitry Medvedev.

PMCs aren’t something particularly new to Russia; as of July 2023, Russia had 27 active private military companies. More than 70% of these PMCs were created after 2014.

Hell, even Gazprom, Russia’s most prominent oil company, has multiple PMCs.

Actually, I can do one better than that: The Russian Orthodox Church has its own PMC!

So, what’s unique about Hispaniola?

Hispaniola has its roots in the Vostok battalion, known for aligning with Russian extremists. This outfit is a hodgepodge…